


Grace Is Gone

by farfarawaygirl



Category: Chicago Fire
Genre: F/M, Friends to Lovers, Slow Burn, can this happen already, we can agree that they are in love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-05
Updated: 2020-02-05
Packaged: 2021-02-28 06:41:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,578
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22569544
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/farfarawaygirl/pseuds/farfarawaygirl
Summary: He doesn’t have the words; and now sometimes he feels like he is running out of time.“Family is complicated.”Doesn’t Matt Casey know that?
Relationships: Brettsey - Relationship, Sylvie Brett/Matthew Casey
Comments: 11
Kudos: 139





	Grace Is Gone

**Author's Note:**

> Song from Dave Matthews Band.
> 
> I’ve been a little blue these past few weeks, read that Sylvie’s family will come up this season, so I put that into words.
> 
> This might be a two shot?

Matt has been looking for Sylvie for the last ten minutes. He saw her after dinner, she was heading from the bunk room towards the floor, but now he can’t seem to find her. The ambo is still in the bay. Foster is over by the fridge, sharing a treat with Kidd. Matt doesn’t want to bother them. Doesn’t want them knowing he’s looking for Sylvie. 

It’s just that all day, Sylvie has been off. 

She came into the morning briefing with her sad face on. Her eyes seemed bigger and bluer. Matt has watched as she worried her lip, and twisted her watch, her brow furrowed. Sylvie has absently nodded along to the info. Half heartedly laughed at Herrmann’s joke. Matt had checked in on her a few times through the day. Each time Sylvie seemed less ok. 

Looking out at the floor from the window by the radio Matt watches her blonde head duck into the turn out room. When he heads off to follow, he gets waylaid by Gallo with a question. Sylvie has her head start, but he knows she doesn’t leave. Which means when he walks into the dark and empty turn out room, he’s a little surprised. 

“Sylvie?”

His voice is soft against the heavy fabric of the coats. 

“Matt?” Casey hears both the question in her voice, and the tightness and emotion in it too. 

He finds her quickly enough. She’s tucked in half under the coats, sitting on a bench, her left side pressed into the cinderblock wall. Sylvie doesn’t move as he turns on the light, and she just looks up at him as Matt shifts the coats to see her better. 

Tears have welled in her eyes, threatening to spill. 

“What’s going on?” 

Sylvie purses her lips, sucks in a long breath of air, shakes her head. Matt hunkers down on the floor. Sylvie is on the bench, so now he’s lower than her. They both take a moment. Matt adjusting on the cool cement, Sylvie watching him from below her wet lashes. 

“Did you know I was adopted?”

Nodding Matt keeps his eyes steady, face open. 

“I never knew who my parents were. Never felt the need to look.” Sylvie wipes her cheek, “the call we had last shift, with the cat? The woman looked me up after, recognized my last name, knew when she saw me that I was her daughter.”

Matt is dumbstruck. Sylvie is emotionless as she recounts what happened next. 

“She tracked me down, and this morning was outside the apartment when I was leaving for work. Told me who she was, asked to talk to me. I just, don’t know? I don’t know if I want to know why she gave me up. If I need to have more questions. It’s complicated with my mom, but she’s the one who raised me. I don’t need an other mother.”

Her voice breaks. “I don’t need to know why one more person who should just loves me doesn’t.”

“Sylvie.”

In the dim light Matt watches her breathe. The rise and fall of her chest, the tears on her cheeks. Slowly, carefully, afraid of startling her Matt reaches out and takes her hand. Sylvie lets him. Curves her hand around his. 

“I didn’t want to talk about it with Foster, because her mom’s death is too fresh.”

Sylvie wipes the tear away, Matt wants to tell her all kinds of things. That people who love her, really love her, won’t leave. That she is loved so well by the whole house. That last year when she was injured his heart nearly broke. Matt thinks of the time when she was gone, and how it felt like the sun was dimmed. 

There are all these things he could say, what he does say catches him off guard. 

“Do you know about my mom?”

Matt’s question catches even him off guard. Shaking her head Sylvie says no. 

“She’s not really in my life. Hasn’t been since I was 15. She shot my dad.” Sylvie’s hand squeezes his. “He died. After that we would have these moments of almost being on the same page, but never quite. After she got of prison she moved in with me.”

Matt is momentarily distracted by the soft way Sylvie is striking his hand. Offering him comfort in the midst of her discomfort. 

“Family is complicated.”

Sylvie laughs her agreement. She’s pulled his hand into her lap, and holds the one of his in her two. 

“I’m not sure if I want to face her. Not sure I want to know.”

They sit in a calm silence. Comfortable. Over the past two years they’ve grown comfortable with each other. Encouraging one an other. Offering advice. Pushing each other when needed, caring about what they are each going through. 

“What would you regret? Going, or not going?”

Sylvie holds his gaze, considering. 

The bells go off. They both move to their feet. 

“Do I look like I’ve been crying?”

Matt uses the edge of his white sleeve to wipe a smudge under her left eye. They are standing close together, each still clasping a hand, looking at each other. 

“Stay safe.” Matt offers, breaking away from Sylvie. Hands suspended between them, for a moment that seems to stretch on forever, finders intertwined. 

———

Calls keep the whole busy for the remainder of their shift. There is not really a chance for sleep. Shift has officially ended, Matt is changed into his own clothes, when he entered the floor and for the second time this shift sees Sylvie’s blonde head duck into the turn out room. 

Across the floor he sees Foster and Cruz, loudly discussing something as they leave. 

Naturally, Matt follows her in. 

This time the lights are on, and she’s just standing there in the middle of the narrow room. Sylvie raises her brows at him. 

“Hey.”

“Casey.” Her voice is amused. 

Grinning, Matt steps closer. A smell of smoke lingers in the tightly packed room. 

“What are you doing in here?”

Brett sighs, looking guilty she replies, “sometimes being an adult with roommates you also work with, is the worst.”

“How about we ditch the roommates and go get some bacon and eggs.”

Sylvie’s eyes light up. 

“Absolutely!” Her reply is excited. Matt ignores the sensation building in his chest, she’s his friend, they’re just doing friend things. 

———-  
———-

Breakfast turns into a walk along the lake shore, which bleeds into a stop at the Home Depot Matt prefers. Sylvie spends her time in the paint section, while he places an order for wood, and some plumbing materials. Matt finds her there, paint samples in hand while she discusses the benefits and drawbacks of a particular blue with an elderly woman. 

Sylvie catches his eye, Matt winks, and feels warmth speed through him as she blushes. 

It’s almost noon when they leave Home Depot, and neither of them has really slept in the last 24 hours, but they are are still going. A second wind making it seem like a good idea to invite Sylvie over for lunch. Matt pulls up to a grocery store by his apartment, and they spend a good twenty minutes planning lunch. 

“Seriously, you need to pick a vegetable. I know how you eat on shift, I shudder to think of what you and Severide deem nutritious food.”

“I grabbed banana peppers for the sandwiches.”

Sylvie narrows her eyes at him. 

“Fine. Strawberry spinach salad?”

Nodding, she heads for the lettuce, he grabs the fruit. 

Being with Sylvie is always natural. Her nature is just kind and caring. When they are together Matt feels like someone is taking care of him. Listening to him. It’s the feeling of having a partner that he enjoys so much. Someone to spar with, and answer to, and be there for; like she is for him. 

Kidd and Severide stumble into the kitchen as they are finishing getting lunch ready. Sylvie has set the table, made a pitcher of iced tea, readied the salad, and now she points at Severide and Kidd and instructs them to wash their hands. 

“Matt, do you have mustard?”

Matt slides the bottle across the counter top, and Sylvie adds it to growing collection on the tabletop. Make your own sandwich is a classic lunch, one Severide and Casey often do, but with Brett’s attention it has amplified. She has a salad side prepared, Matt’s been instructed to toast the bread, and there are more condiments than at Subway. 

Kidd comes in and throws her arms around Brett, nuzzling her face into Sylvie’s neck. 

“Why are you avoiding your apartment?”

Matt watches as Sylvie stills, then replies, face flushed. 

“I just didn’t want to bother anyone.”

“Thanks.” Matt intones. 

Reaching out, Sylvie pulls his arm, smiling at him. “You know what I mean.”

Her eyes are blue. Her face earnest. Matt grins down at her, the conversations moves on as Severide exclaims over the food. Kidd responding. But, for a brief unending moment Matt and Sylvie just smile at each other under the kitchen lights. 

“Salad?” Severide’s voice is laced with laughter. 

“When your PIC says you need to eat your vegetables, you listen.”

Stella makes a noise signalling her agreement. 

————-

After Sylvie leave, Matt schedules some work for the next day, send a half hearted email to his mom and settles in to sleep while the afternoon settles in around him. He dreams of sunlight.

**Author's Note:**

> Tell me what you want to see happen!!! Both here, and on the show.


End file.
